War Report – KP vs. The Smurfs

October 16th, 2008War Reports4 comments

Hello there, don’t forget to do the new Orkfian Survey found here

Still on a quest for the number one war ranking KARMA POLICE was looking for a wartarget. Having grown rather quickly we had passed most alliances already and there was only one within range. This alliance was number #24, a gathering of little blue men and one little blue woman known as The Smurfs.

Around 23:28 ST on Sunday the 12th of october we decided upon them as a wartarget. The starting time was set for 19:55 ST the following day. We didn’t bother with developing extensive tactics as we didn’t consider them to be very threatening. In retrospect, we underestimated them dearly!

With eight tribes present at declaration we decided on a simple raid kill on Peaceful Smurf. Regardless of his name, this raven looked like he might cause some trouble and didn’t have very many citizens. Seven raids should be enough to kill him if we had some fireballs to aid us in our quest. After the fireballs had struck, we pulled off seven raids within a couple of minutes. Surprise, surprise: he did not die. In our excitement we hadn’t noticed he was online, and by releasing lots of basics ‘into the wild’ he managed to stay alive. Good job Peaceful Smurf, bad job KP.

We decided not to try again three ticks later as he had successfully thwarted our attempt had thus earned the right to live. As Bolle put it on IRC: “its always so cruel to kill someone who survived, like taking off his victory-feeling”. Honouring this agreement we decided to wreak havoc to Death Smurf’s tribe. We were not all able to grab or raid him so we decided on a brutal yet highly effective technique: mass Hit ‘n Running. In all honesty, I am quite proud of that part of the war. Within 25 minutes all eleven dragons HnRred Death Smurf. Since he kept recasting his Fountain of Resu we had to void him over 3 times. With 8000 losses on average we managed to murder around 85000 of his troops. During the course of this war, we would eventually steal 4287 acres off this previously prosperous 7000 acre spirit. Yet he managed to stay alive as well, even though the cost was high. Only by releasing all thieves and a large portion of defense did he have enough space in his homes for his citizens to live. Good job Death Smurf, good job KP.

An interesting event in this war was the interference of one of Incarnation’s tribes in this war. A raven from #51 grabbed vengeance twice in a matter of hours and he was immediately nominated for a shitlist position within our alliance as we do not tolerate out of war influences. To discourage any future meddling in our war vengeance sent a not so subtle PM informing the raven of his inevitable future demise for his actions, as soon as we had the time to deal with him. He clearly managed to intimidate the tribe as he paused only moments later.

Though unsuccessful on the killing part we had received no retaliation whatsoever during the first few ticks of the war. With the hour growing late we decided to simply continue the following morning and not enforce a night KT. Though not enforced the IRC channel topic was changed to: “Party in the Death Smurf’s lands! Make sure to be there with your reds. Party will take all night long.” Many a tribe responded and so it happend some were online during the night to party and feast on Death Smurf’s acres.

From 23:30 ST on The Smurfs started to show some teeth. The main supplier of red lines in our alliance news was XD Smurf, the 9000 acre dragon. He raided and Blasphemy Crusaded two tribes while most of us were asleep. From around 8:00 ST he was joined by the even larger Brittonian, Clumsy Smurf, who joined with BCs and Psycho Smurf, a raven, who joined with barren and standard grabs. Gradually it became apparent they had decided upon VorteX as a target, especially when Peaceful Smurf joined in with HnRs and raids. Texts were sent and calls were made but since VorteX was in class all day he did not have much time to respond. When all appeared to be lost he decided to go out with a bang: His final act of defiance was an enormous grab on Full Smurf, a spirit the rest of us were unable to hit. He released some units as well, but at 13:00:49 ST XD Smurf laid the final blow in VorteX’ orkfia career. For the first time in the history of KARMA POLICE, one of our tribes had perished at the hands of our enemy during an official war. More importantly, this was the first kill in a war WE started! Good job Smurfs!

It was obvious that KP was slightly inactive during daytime so it was decided an evening KT was in order. 18:55 ST was to be the moment, but until then we had some hours to fill and some ticks to use. It appeared this 9000 acre dragon was not as well defended as we had originally thought. Our larger tribes could already break him, but to help our smaller ones everyone logging in was urged to HnR him before 14:00 ST. After comparing our attack results, however, we noticed the losses were disproportional! We murdered 2400 units on an HnR where we killed only 200 on a standard grab. Since these losses were terrifyingly high we concluded this must be due to a bug and we stopped the attacks immediately. Praise to the development team for immediately investigating this potential bug and fixing it within a matter of hours!

KT had come and we wished to try to eliminate Peaceful Smurf again since he displayed activity and had started to attack our beloved elder. He had more citizens than before though, so we now required ten raids or nine raids with a lot of successful fireballs. Not enough tribes were available at KT though so we decided to switch to MCZ Smurf instead, who had less citz and required only seven raids. Seven tribes attacked 30 seconds before the 19:00 ST tick. Luck was not with us, for this eagle eluded three of them. What was worse: MCZ smurf eluded Hoffmiester a second time when all eluded tribes attacked again just after the tick. He was one raid away from death, but we couldn’t kill him. For 59 long minutes we sat and waited, fearing our target would come online and release, effectively ruining yet another of our kill attempts. He did not, however, so after the 20:00 ST tick Hoffmiester attacked again… and was eluded for the third time in a row! Our alliance channel was filled with howls of horror as once again there were 59 long minutes separating us from our kill. MCZ never appeared online though, so 1 second after the 21:00 ST tick four of our tribes set out to find the eagles and murder every living citizen in the lands. It was taNk who finally laid the final blow in MCZ Smurfs orkfia career, solidifying our first kill in this war.

We were unable to break X( Smurf (he renamed from XD Smurf after some successful grabs on him), unless he would send his army out. We were hoping he would, but feared he would be aware of the risk of doing so. Our prayers were granted at 21:50 though, when he and the large brittonian BCed our beloved elder. Three of our largest dragons managed to grab him just before the tick, relieving him of more than 2600 acres. We had also voided his Elendian, so a vision after the tick showed he was down to 200 citizens. Our victory would not be denied, so fireballs swiftly put him out of his misery. Biltes stole the show during this little kill as he returned from a phone conversation only 25 seconds before the tick and still managed to grab in time. He also cast the fatal fireballs, thus completing his streak. A sad end for one of our own race, being 93 years of age already and close to his heritage.

“For old times sake”, as Biltes put it, we decided to set a nighttime KT for one of their tribes. At 1:55 ST our hungry eyes fell on the tribe of Sick Smurf. He had just recently explored, leaving him with only 60k citizens or so. Fireballs followed by only two raids ended his life rather abruptly and so the war was won at 1:58:09 ST

Congratulations for your achievements Smurfs, you were the first to ever murder one of us in an official war. Thanks are also in order, for this was the most fun war we have fought in a long time. Let’s do this again some time :p

Written by Atan

Editorial note: Im waiting for Lepel to write their side of the story aswell //Acwder