War report – The Smurfs vs. KP

February 17th, 2009War Reports4 comments

After the devastation that KP wreaked on the unsuspecting smurf village the last time around, the smurfs were divided because of the loss of so many smurfs. There were those that wanted vengeance and others that just wanted to kill them. It tore the village apart and forced several smurfs to seek refuge in an other alliance and leaving their smurfways behind.

After a while the longing for the unity, those smurfs once had, became so great, that we took it upon ourselves to build a bigger and better village. We called it smurfcity. The Smurf society was growing each day and with that their extreme need for retribution also grew. Several new recruits also tired of the tyranny of the empire joined the rebelsmurfforce. And soon it was time to strike back at the empire……

After KP got their with enormous moonshipthingy out of the garage again (honestly cant you wash that thing once in a while), we decided it was time to act. The sudden impact from the past, all the bloodshed and innocent killings, all the terror and cruelty, all the weird pm’s and fast growing. It was to much for the smurfs. They needed to act and act fast. They had a great meal to plan the attackplan, 4 smurfs ate meat and 6 smurfs fish and 2 were absent.

After the meal they were all ready and converted to WM to start their campaign of liberation. This was only meant as the first strike, other races and alliances will rise up against the evil empire. We are the spark that ignites the fire. Hell will break loose this age and orkfia will be changed by the end of it.

After midnight the Smurfs emerged from their city to launch an attack on Grand Hoff Tarkin. His death was not a pretty one as the families of those he previously killed ravaged his body. After a short deliberation, we decided to take out Chew “one slap away” Biltes. It turns out that if you don’t slap him he doesn’t show up . Two down and the pre-emptive strike was almost finished!

The next morning the Smurfs woke up and surprisingly not with a good feeling at all. A strange illness had taken a hold over some of the smurfs. Even though some smurfs tried to fight the illness, longing for the dead of one more member of KP helped them hold on.

In particular that skywalker brat had to die. After beating young skywalker with a stick till he nearly died, he found a secret way out. After that most of the empire had converted and they weren’t up to anything good.

Grote Smurf was going downhill, the illness had nearly taken total control of him and soon he would slowly fade away. With his last strength, he commanded the smurfs once more into the breach. Greybacca suffered the last attempt on his life, but it was a futile one. Six smurfs were infected by the unknown virus and after not succeeding to kill Greybacca, Grote Smurf died.

While the smurfs did everything in their power to fight the disease, the evil empire struck with attacks from their moonshipthingy. Cowardly hitting us from above when we are at a vulnerable stage. We at least had the dignity to fight one on one, but KP’s cruelty and killingpower know no rules. Several smurfs died due to the curious disease and soon the entire smurfworld lay decimated. Hopefully the spark has been lit and the people will finally rise up to fight for their freedom and to once and for all end the cruelty of KP as was prophesised by some weirdo named SanZo.

Finally we have narrowed the reason we got sick down to two possible instigators. It could have been the fish they had before the fighting starts. Funny how 6 smurfs eat fish and die . But then again it could also be the filth on the moonshipthingy that seriously needs some cleaning fellas… Stop bombing “innocent” small blue people and get that thing cleaned.

Well there is nothing left to say. Actually there is, but somehow we need to build up our city, uhhh village, uuuuuu lets start with one mushroomhouse, again.

Smurfs 2 – KarmaPolice 0 – disease 6

Only one winner here, congratz Karma on your fine precision and cruelty. And we’ll meet again at the end of all things!

~Lepel